CHAPTER ONE
In the aftermath of an extraterrestrial invasion, don’t expect normal modes of transportation to be readily available—or safe to use. Cars will run out of gas. Airplanes will get blasted out of the sky. You must look for other ways to get around if you wish to survive.
— How to Survive an Alien Invasion: Your Guidebook to an Inevitable Future, by Byleth X. Dongo
We made it halfway across the pond before the mattress started to sink.
Jace (code name: Baller One) let out a yelp as the cold water rushed over the sides of our craft. “My phone! I forgot my phone’s in my pocket!”
I winced as the water sloshed over my hands and knees, soaking through the bottom of my jeans. Despite the chill, I scowled. “This is a survival training mission, Baller One. Your phone is supposed to be at home.”
“I know, Marv, but I forgot, okay?” He glanced frantically toward the shore, where I could just see Nora (code name: Space Cadet) watching us with her arms crossed. In the dark, I couldn’t see the expression on her face, but I had the feeling she was smirking at our predicament.
Jace pushed himself to his feet, wobbling as he planted his legs in a wide stance to keep his balance. “Nora, I’m going to throw my phone to you. Get ready!” He pulled his phone out of his pocket and threw it as hard as he could toward land.
I squinted, trying to trace the arc of the phone. A second later, I heard a distinct splash.
Baller One’s eyes went wide. “Oh, no. My mom’s gonna kill me.” He cupped his hands around his mouth. “Nora, can you see where my phone landed?”
A faint “No” came from shore.
“We’ve got more serious problems right now,” I interrupted. The twin-sized mattress was almost completely submerged and growing more waterlogged by the minute.
Besides, despite the fact that he’d get in trouble with his parents, losing Jace’s phone was a good thing, as far as I was concerned. Anyone who had ever read the works of Byleth X. Dongo knew that modern phones would only make it easier for aliens to track down surviving humans after they took over.
“We have to abandon ship,” I said.
Baller One looked at the murky pond and gulped. “You mean, like, jump into the water?”
“Affirmative. It’s either swim to shore or go down with the mattress.”
I shivered. My hands and feet were already freezing. Maybe we shouldn’t have waited until my older brother Cam’s last football game of the year to try testing his mattress as a flotation device. The pond water would have been gross a few months ago, but it would have been warmer than it was now in November.
Water gurgled around my legs as I pushed myself into a crouch. “It’s time to go.”
Baller One grimaced, then slipped slowly into the pond so he could keep his head above water. I tried to do the same, but I lost my footing and face-planted into the pond.
Zounds! The water was freezing. I broke the surface and gasped for breath, flailing my arms to keep from sinking. Jace had already started swimming for shore. I tried to follow, but the water soaked through my pants and jacket, weighing me down. My sneakers dragged me toward the bottom.
I paddled faster, desperately trying to reach land before I sank, but my clothes were getting heavier and heavier.
My paddling became even more frantic. This was going to be the end. I’d never get the chance to thwart another alien invasion. I was going to sink to my doom right here in an unnamed pond in the middle of the woods.
I took a deep, gulping breath, preparing to go under.
And then, my sneakers hit the bottom of the pond. They squished into the mud, sending up a wave of stink bubbles. The water only went up to my shoulders.
I shivered, trying to hide my embarrassment as I trudged through the nasty water. Bits of algae wrapped around my pants like tentacles, and I had to churn my legs harder to break free.
After what felt like an eternity, I finally made it to shore. Jace continued to search the water’s edge for his phone, while Space Cadet gave me a smug smile.
“I told you it wasn’t going to work,” she said, passing me one of the towels she had insisted on bringing.
I grabbed the towel out of her hands and wrapped it around myself, trying to keep my teeth from chattering. “Well, it’s better that we test it now rather than find out while we’re trying to escape a flying saucer.”
She snorted and passed me my fanny pack, wristwatch, and walkie talkie, which I’d left on shore. “Like you’d ever find a mattress lying around like that in the first place.”
I rolled my eyes and rubbed the towel back and forth across my back, trying to dry off in the cold night air. What could you expect from a DOA (daughter of an alien)?
The Alien Guidebook made it clear that you had to prepare for the unexpected if you wished to survive an extraterrestrial invasion. No matter how outlandish an idea might seem, your preparation (or lack thereof) will make all the difference between survival and getting deep-fried by laser beams.
“Found it!” Jace called. He pulled his phone out of the pond with a triumphant expression. Though based on the device’s appearance, he shouldn’t have bothered. The thing was dripping water and splattered with mud. Then again, a few months ago it had survived a trip through an alien transporter that had taken us halfway across the country, so maybe it would survive this too.
Baller One grabbed a towel from Space Cadet and began to wipe down his phone. “Oh man, I sure hope I can get this to work again…”
“I think you’re supposed to stick it in a tub of rice,” Nora said.
“Where am I supposed to get rice?”
“We have tons of rice at my house, I can get you some before you go home.”
Ah, yes. Space Cadet claimed her father was born in Brazil, where apparently rice and beans were an everyday meal. A convenient alibi to hide that he was part of an extraterrestrial race that had been plotting to take control of the Earth. Still, Silva had helped us succeed in the end, betraying the leader of his invasion force to help protect the planet.
That was another reason why we had been able to test the mattress tonight. Silva was currently in Iowa at the former site of his “research lab” as part of a government investigation into everything that had happened. Supposedly, they were trying to tie up loose ends like how his co-conspirator Peterson vanished without a trace after Jace and I ended up in the transporter. Despite my role as a key witness (and my undeniable knowledge of the true nature of the alien encounter that had taken place), I hadn’t been invited along.
The fact that the government (and everyone else) said it had been a corporate conspiracy without any alien involvement was disappointing. But with Silva out of town and my family at the football game, it had been the ideal time to run our test.
I stared at the pond. One corner of the mattress still poked out of the water.
“So, what are you going to do about the mattress?” Nora asked.
I shrugged. “It’s too far out for us to retrieve it. We’ll probably have to leave it where it is.”
“But what about Cam?” Jace asked.
I hesitated. I’d told my family that I would be camping as part of my alien invasion survival training tonight. That meant I at least had an alibi for where I was at the time the mattress disappeared. Not that it would help with my brother Cam (code name: Alien Bait). He always suspected me when something like this happened.
Technically, he was usually right, but that didn’t mean I was looking forward to whatever he’d come up with to terrorize me in return.
“Alien Bait will have to sleep on the floor, I guess,” I said. I wrapped Space Cadet’s towel tighter around my shoulders. Fall in Delaware is already chilly to begin with, and being soaked to the bone didn’t help, either. “Let’s head back.”
“Yes, please,” Jace said. “I don’t want to get a cold right before basketball tryouts.”
I sighed. Yet another reason why the mattress experiment had to be tonight. It was the same thing every fall. Once Baller One inevitably made the middle school basketball team this year (just like he had in sixth grade), he wouldn’t have nearly as much time for surveillance, training, and other anti-UFO measures for the next few months.
I walked a short distance behind the other two as we turned away from the pond and headed into the trees. The others may have been going home, but I wanted to stop at the fire tower to conduct some aerial surveillance before camping. After all, cold weather survival was another important aspect of alien invasion prep.
Ever since school had started, times like this were growing few and far between. Nora had made friends with other girls at school who always wanted to go to the boardwalk at the beach, and Jace’s basketball prep was more important than ever for him. Even though we’d defeated a legitimate threat to the planet over the summer, they wanted to go back to living like every other ignorant seventh grader.
Still lost in my own thoughts, it was almost a surprise when we arrived at the fire tower.
“I’ll see you tomorrow Marv,” Jace said. “Call me on the walkie talkie when you’re ready to shoot some hoops.”
I nodded, then shivered. I’d have to keep my UFO monitoring quick and then change into one of the spare sets of clothes I had stashed at our fort deeper in the woods.
“You’d better take this,” I said, passing my towel to Nora. “Your aunt might get suspicious if I brought this over tomorrow.”
She winced and grabbed the soggy towel. “You’re probably right. Maria Helena is pretty laid back about a lot of things, but not boys.” She grabbed my towel and hung it over her arm. “Ugh. This smells like pond water.”
Then we heard the siren.
